Nerd Demographics: Niche Geek

When you get right down to it, the very essence of being a nerd is an intense interest in something unpopular. So, really, all geeks are niche geeks, whether it be for a game or a TV show or a hobby. But there are some interests out there that are so microscopic in their scope, so wildly unpopular, that they don't even warrant a separate cohort in the nerd demographic spectrum.

We're talking Ham radio, model trains, Frank Zappa fans. We're not talking chess tournaments, folks, we're talking Boggle.

For ages, niche geeks were the lowest on the nerd pecking order. They couldn't band together the way Star Trek fans could, so they were lonely. And they might not be smart enough to get full scholarships to Ivy League Schools the way math and science geeks could. Most went underground and pursued their hobbies in secret.

But then. Then! Teh Interwebs! Now every niche geek could geek out exponentially! Harry Nilsson fans could trade mp3's of old demos! Fans of The Prisoner could start flame wars about the identity of Number 1: it was the midget butler... no, it was Number 6! Fans of tentacle Hentai could rejoice in their disgusting, filthy habits!*

A funny thing happened, though. As these micro-hobbies were exposed to the light of day, some of them suddenly became Hip. Because nothing is hipper than having an ironic interest in something no one else likes. This is a double-edged sword for the niche geek. A good example is knitting. Couple years ago, only grandmas and niche geeks knitted. Now, you can't walk through a downtown without tripping over three places called some variant of "Stitch 'n' Bitch". Even my tiny town, population 14,000, has a yarn shop now. Re-donk.

Not to say knitting isn't a fun, rewarding activity: it totally is! Absolutely! But it kind of sucks when something you love, yet have been ostracized for, becomes the Next Big Thing. Because then you are in the position of seeing the thing you love be taken over by Hipsters, and god forbid, become Popular. Shudder.

My advice to the niche geek in this position? Take advantage of it. If possible, trade this new found popularity in your interest into something good, like contributing to a blog or getting laid. Because once the Hipsters decide something even more obscure is fun, you will be left with trying to explain to people that, no, really, you were into knitting WAY before it became popular, seriously.

How to make friends: Listen to them talk about their hobby without yawning.

How to get them in bed: Leave a positive comment on their blog.

How to make enemies: If the hobby is currently hip, insinuate that they only like it because it's popular and/or ironic. If the hobby is currently outre, Don't bother making enemies. They're pathetic enough.


*Seriously? That shit is GROSS.